The secret is out, I am a bit strange!
Have you ever been called weird before? Growing up I was called weird a lot. People would often makes comments that I was strange and did “weird” things. Thankfully I can say I never really took it to heart too much, it sort of just was what is was. I was weird. Maybe it was my interpretation but I never saw it as a bad thing. Yet going through high school I never really felt like I fit in. I always felt like I had people around me but never really felt 100% myself. I was pretty shy in groups and the real me only came out to close friends.
Once I finished high school I moved out of home, saw new places and met new people along the way. I continued to come out of my shell more as I moved across the Australia, living in 4 different towns across 3 different states.
When I was 21 I moved away from family and friends and this was an incredibly daunting experience. I had moved to a rural town with my partner where we didn’t know one person. The town seemed to have 3 distinct categories: Mining, Defence and Locals and I didn’t really feel like I fit into any of those groups despite my partner being in the Army. I found a job relatively quickly in a local bakery and was also studying my undergrad externally so it kept me busy. I soon found however that I didn’t really feel like myself at work either. I have talked about it in previous posts but I just didn’t feel like I was on the same page as a lot of people there. There were a lot of close-minded attitudes that seemed to breed on negativity while I always tried to be open minded and as positive as I could. I remember getting lost in the lyrics of Seth sentry “My scene” which talks about trying to find your scene with quotes like “It’s the hardest thing to do, to look like them but feel like you”. It was quite tough initially, so this time around instead of trying to fit in I started to stand up for what I believed in and be okay with people not agreeing with me or liking me. I became okay with being different and knowing that I had to do what I wanted for myself if I wanted to be happy. I didn't go out drinking when I preferred to stay at home. I didn't feel inclined to do what others were doing even when people made fun of me for not doing so. The more I learnt to let go of what others thought, the more I realised what I wanted out of life. Of course it was hard initially but I learnt to be more reliant on myself and while learning to love myself for who I am. I found the more honest I was with what I wanted, the more I surrounded myself with honest people and less bullshit. It was the start of a gradual change but I can honestly say I am rarely called weird anymore which in my eyes that means I am surrounding myself with the right people. The weird ones. If I am called weird it is a compliment. Like "hey, you're weird, I like you." It was only the other day I was discussing with my workmates how comfortable I feel around them, because they are just as quirky and a lot of fun. Those weird quirks that I thought weren’t normal are things that a lot of people posess, you just don't always see it.
My partner often says we live a Disney life because I regularly burst out into song about whatever is happening at that particular moment and laugh at strange scenarios that I think would be funny. I ask the most random “what if” questions and my train of thought can be so convoluted that sometimes even I am like “WTF?”. But you know what? I love being this weirdo and I love the weirdos I have as friends. The moral of the story? Embrace your quirks, be a fucking weirdo… because the more you embrace who you are the happier you will be. The end.